OUTLIERS

I read Outliers recently. Malcolm Gladwell's new book. Interesting stuff that has really changed how I'm looking at things. It's about how they've documented that real success is more a product of work, opportunity and circumstances rather than raw talent. Explains a lot really. And even though he doesn't mention it, to me, it has interesting spiritual overtones. 

If circumstances dictate that much, and have THAT much influence, it levels the playing field. We can all do a lot more than we probably think. And it got me thinking, which of my circumstances might be giving me an extra opportunity?  

The place I grew up. The classes I took. The classes I didn't take. The friends I made, and the friends I walked away from. It's mind boggling. 

There's a great quote from Thom Yorke of Radiohead awhile back that blew me away. They had just named Kid A one of the greatest albums of the last decade and the interviewer was asking him how they did it. He said they were all listening to Miles Davis at the time. They tried to make a Miles Davis album, but none of them could play like Miles. So it naturally bastardized into something original. 

I feel that way about most of my artistic endeavors. I want to do a particular thing, but I can't. I don't have the right skill set. I walk away feeling like I failed. Then I'll come back after some time away and realize it came out just right. 

FIRST THING I READ THIS MORNING

from "Running on Empty" by Charles Bukowski

...do you see
now that you see that
everything they told us
was wrong?

the elephant caught
like that
and caged
like that?

the way they tricked us
and caged us too?

...what you do see is that
what mattered most
doesn't matter so much
anymore 

Amazing poem. i've been noticing lately that many of the things that used to matter so much to me, don't matter all that much anymore. I've grown. And I've changed. And I'm finding myself in a new self that I need to adapt to. Confused? Me too. 

PEARL JAM 20 YEAR MOVIE

I went to see the Pearl Jam 20 year reunion movie the other night in Hollywood. It got some luke warm reviews, but I was drawn to it and wanted to see it. 

All the old footage was great. It took me right back. Being in Kik Tracee at the time those guys broke, I saw that period from my perspective. It was cool to see more about their experience. Music needed a reality check. And it got it. I remember hearing the Nirvana album for the first time and instantly knowing the world had changed. Like millions of others, I loved it. 

I drove down Sunset Blvd. afterward, even though there are shorter routes to my house. I listened to "Nevermind." So many memories. It was inspiring. I wasn't capable of being the kind of person I wanted to be back then. I was confused and didn't trust myself as a person or an artist. 

I'm in the process of a restart of my life right now, and I see that I have developed certain qualities I lacked back then. I feel good about where I am today. Art means something different to me. I understand things I didn't before. Experience is a hard, but effective teacher. And even though the body starts to shrivel, growing up has its perks. 

HAPPY FACEBOOKIRTHDAY!

Last week was my birthday. I love my birthday. I don't always make a big deal or event out of it, but I always make sure to take at least part of the day to myself. It's good for reflection. Where am I? Where was I last year? Am I headed in a good direction? It's my own little personal holiday. 

In 2009 I was in Europe and had one of the most profound experiences of my life. Last year I was in Nevada City and went for a beautiful dinner. This year it was off to the desert and I took most of the day off. 

Through a bizarre set of circumstances, the possibility of cold hamburgers in the parking lot for my birthday dinner due to a massive power outage, turned into a fabulous dinner in a beautiful restaurant paid for by the hotel.

I'm a lucky guy. I forget that sometimes. 

And Facebook. Some people say that Facebook friends aren't real friends. And I agree in some respects. But I have to balance that by saying that I've had some pretty great conversations with people half way across the world. And Facebook Birthdays. All those messages. All day. It just feels good. A lot of people thought enough of me to take a second when they saw it was my birthday and post. Good stuff. Thank you for all the calls and posts :) 

GOAL ATTAINMENT RITUAL

I brush my teeth at night for the same reason we all do. I'm hedging my bets, hoping my pearly whites don't fall out of my head before I die, when I won't need them anymore.  

So I go to brush my teeth last night like I always do. Nothing special. I noted how tired I looked in the mirror, squeezed some paste out of the tube and started scrubbing my teeth. I just wanted to get back to bed and watch the end of Stephen Colbert before I went to sleep. It had been a long day.  

I was completely on autopilot, my hand doing its' obligitory robotic circular motion, when I got this crazy  thought... 

"I'm actually cleaning something right now. My teeth." 

Never occurred to me. Somehow I learned that circular scrubbing motion when I was a kid, labeled it "brushing my teeth" and never revisited the topic. For all these years I've used the same hand motions never actually trying to clean my teeth! I was just moving the brush around in my mouth like I learned. 

In light of this fabulous new information, I decided last night to focus on the hand motions necessary to "clean my teeth". 

It was literally an entirely different motion of my hand! Blew my mind.  

What other things have I accepted as "the way it is" and never questioned again? I bet there's a ton. I'm on the hunt now.

Maybe it's the David Hockney book I'm reading on perspective right now that has me reanalyzing and looking everything differently. I don't know, but I can't remember a time when brushing my teeth blew my mind like that. Pretty cool :) 

WWPD?

I saw Peter Gabriel at the Santa Barbara Bowl last night with his "New Blood Orchestra". Beautiful place. Amazing show. I was fortunate enough to see them at the Hollywood Bowl a few months ago as well. I'm not sure which one I liked better. Maybe last night. They switched up some songs, adding some new ones. "Biko." "Blood of Eden." 

Fabulous. 

Peter was pulling out all the stops to keep his voice going. Swigging tea and honey from a little bench they wheeled out next to him, but he totally pulled it off. 

"Red Rain" and "Signal To Noise" are still a high points of the show as I remembered them being at the Hollywood Bowl. And of course "Solsbury Hill". Especially when they morphed into a Bach overture at the end. I didn't remember that bit. I think it's new. He and his daughter smile at each other sometimes as she sings backup vocals. Good stuff. 

I'm not always a fan of pop or rock stars with orchestras. It can be pretentious and unfortunate. Sometimes it works though. This totally did. He worked with people who made great arrangements and seemed to understand the emotional nature of his songs. And his songs lent themselves to this format. 

I think that's what struck me most about the show as I'm examining my next steps in my own creative life. He is such a great example to me. WWPD? What Would Peter Do? Maybe I'll get a wrist bracelet....

What do I want to do? Where do I see my life going from here? It's all up to me. I have new options open. New paths I'm considering following. 

Peter is a true artist. The kind that inspires me. He pushes himself, creates beauty and says meaningful things that I can understand. And I get to walk out singing a little tune. 

Song hanging in our heads last night on the way to the car??? "digging in the dirt, to find the places we got hurt...digging in the dirt..."

WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

I was sitting on my couch last night, taking a few minutes before going to drawing class (I'm taking a night drawing class. It's been awesome). 

Outside I heard bells. That song! I actually had to listen hard at first because I couldn't believe it. Is that what I think it is?

"An ice cream truck!"

That big familiar white truck. Driving up the street. And the memories rolled in. We used to have one that came up our block in Granada Hills when I was a kid. I'd hear that same sound and wonder if I had enough time to run home, get some change and catch the guy. Sometime a few other kids would pull him over and buy me some time. 

I woundn't always make it. And sometimes my mother wouldn't let me get anything. 

Last night there were no kids. Just a lonely truck driving up the street. I felt sad. I should've run out to buy something from him but it was time to leave for class. And so it goes.

Ice cream men are a thing of the past. I started wondering, does he have a family? I hope he still sells enough to feed them. It's probably his second or third job. In my opinion, an ice cream man should make a good living. He brings joy. There are a lot of trades that no longer earn much money, but should in my opinion. 

I suppose there are also new things and professions coming up. That's the way it works. It's just change. Simple and real. Everything changes. Growing up is a trip. Literally. If he comes our way again, I'll be ready. I wonder if he still sells the Rocket Pops. Although my personal favorite was always the classic ice cream sandwich. 

LA TIMES FESTIVAL OF BOOKS, BEN & JERRYS, AND A HIGH BROW DAY OF LOFTY THINKING

Miss Ellie and I went to the LA Times Festival of Books yesterday. I had never heard of it, but evidently it's been a big event here in LA for years. We got lucky on parking and sailed right in. First order of business was lunch. Wahoo's fish tacos in the food court. Then, the Ben & Jerry's truck was giving away free new flavors to promote a collaboration with Target. Couldn't pass that up. So the first 2 hours of our high brow literary experience was spent on yummies. Who could blame us? We were hungry.

Bellies satisfied, we finally perused the grounds. What a great place. I was pleased to see so many people at an event put on by a newspaper. We signed up for the Sunday LA Times recently. It's fun getting the paper. Soon to be a thing of the past. 

I grabbed a bunch of museum pamphlets as I'm always interested in what they're showing, and I want to start bringing my art+music shows to museums. We also saw all kinds of publishers, book stores, and independent authors with booths. The woman in line behind us at Wahoo's said that there are more "readers" in Los Angeles than any other city in the US. Is that possible???? 

We also attended a lecture by 4 writers talking about the changing music business. "Music: A Business In Flux" or something like that. I usually attend lectures by "regular industry types" and not authors. This was interesting. Different perspective. They went back and forth about how there is no money in making music anymore and therefore the art form is basically going to crap.  

One interesting thing I was left with that came up at the end....Back in the 60's, if you wanted to change the world, you might record an album. These days, if you want to change the world, you'd probably create an App. Facebook is the perfect example. Music is no longer as tied to social change and awareness as it used to be. We digest it like a snack. Yum! Rebecca Black wasn't all that different than my free "Voluntiramisu" from Ben & Jerry's today.

I sat on a curb while we laughed, cracked a few jokes and enjoyed the cool, creamy coffee flavor for the 5 minutes I was eating it. Then promptly discarded it into the trash can before continuing my day with a vague memory of enjoying something I ate. 

ONWARD HO

It's been a hazy few days since my show last Thursday. It was such a fast pace in the lead up to that night, and now I'm playing catch up with all the pieces of my life I left at the curb while focused on that single task. It's ironic how I built an art+music show called "Door No.1" about passing through doors, making choices, the changes that happen in life as a result, and now I feel as though I've passed through a door of my own in the process. I feel different. Something happened. I'm not even sure what yet. 

I'm excited about my new songs that are associated with this show and the artwork as well. A lot of new possibilities. I'll post pictures of the new work this week and the songs should be listenable in another few weeks. 

I was left with a beautiful feeling about a handful of my friends that really showed up for me. It was an unfathomable amount of work to put this on and they really came through. 

Choices.

And so now...a few more days to catch my breath, and onward!

I BELIEVE IT

I've been so busy painting and working on new songs lately, that once again, the most interesting of my days go undocumented. I tend to work well under deadlines though. The short timeline forces me to make decisions quickly that I would otherwise overdeliberate because I have the luxury of time. 

Time. I have 3 more weeks until my first showing of "Door No.1" in Los Angeles. I'm really excited. I learned so much from my last couple shows. This one is feeling really good. 

As I've been working, I find myself thinking about struggles. As I get closer to my deadline, I struggle less. I go with the flow more because I have to. I think, "pink", and I grab the pink paint. No time to overthink. Interestingly enough, the work gets better because of that. It means more. It comes from a different place. 

Amazing how powerful the things I tell myself can be. It seems that at some level I believe everything I say!!!

THE SITE OF MY NEXT ART+MUSIC SHOW

I shot this awhile back, and thought I'd show you what the room looks like...great place. 

MUDDY WATERS

Sometimes I get uncomfortable for no reason. It just happens. In actuality there is a reason, but not one I particularly feel like doing anything about. It's how life is. I press on. That's what we do, right? So tonight I'm working on my new website listening to Muddy Waters feeling like the most boring man alive.

Current track: "Mannish Boy"

Now, I'm not necessarily a big blues guy, but this is AWESOME. When I listen carefully there's a whole other world easily missed on a casual listen. I think we casually listen to our lives too much. 

I borrowed a bunch of cds from my friend Scott to dive into some great songs, great playing, and re-fertilize my soil. It's working. I love talking dirty...