WHAT'S THAT? SNOW?

After over 6 months of travel, hotels, couches, extra rooms and floors, I got to say something today that I haven't said since April..."I'm home." I left the city to be closer to nature for awhile and create. I've been working the whole time since I've been moving around and I'm tired. It's been an incredible ride and this new chapter feels good.

I'm in the mountains and it's snowing here right now. For an LA boy like me, this is quite an event.

I spent my 2 months in Los Angeles in meetings and developing an idea I have. Now I'm here in this new place to create new art. New music. I'm excited about what's next for me. My "No Apologies" cd will be released in January and I'm excited about it.

This is something I've always wanted to do. Make a space to simply be with myself with minimal distractions and see what comes up. One more time in my life I'm stepping out of my box. Out of my comfort zone to see how the weather is...and it's a beautiful day.

The Home Depot Art and Hobby Store

I stopped by Home Depot the other day to check on the price of different wood options for some art I'm working on. I'm not exactly the handiest guy in the world, but I love Home Depot. As soon as I start wandering the aisles, I get ideas. Wild, fun and totally bizarre ones...that copper piping would make a great frame with some wire. Or a collage of these vents could be really cool. Maybe that gate would look good on a wall with one of those signs. Or a collage of those signs....It's endless.

So I'm roaming the lumber section and contractors are looking at me funny. They're there for work supplies and I'm in my city boy boots with nice jeans all clean and proper. Inevitably one of the guys that works there comes up, "can I help you, boss?" And I ask about the properties of caulking and whether it could spiral into a cone to make a volcano. Or how to use it to make an igloo. He looks at me, laughs and then tries to answer my question. I bet they get a lot of crazy questions working there...from those contractors, to the clueless "do it yourselfer", to the artists like me. Some of the people that work there really do know a lot. And I'm grateful.

Next time you're bored or in the mood for an adventure, I suggest a visit. Recommended visiting hours are after 10pm if your local store is open that late or weekday afternoons if you're fortunate enough to have the time to go during that window. Try the lumber section. Electrical. Plumbing and lighting.

Open your mind and have fun. A tin man made from foil and metal piping might be just what you need for your garden. Or a giant ball of multicolored tape could work beautifully in that entry way. What says, "I love you. C'mon in and relax" more than that?

Happy Tuesday

I can't believe it's been this long since my last post. Amazing...I find myself in the now familiar position of experiencing so much in the span of such a short time, it's impossible to keep up with my writing. The more I open myself up to my new life, the more it's opening itself to me.

Returning to Los Angeles has been difficult. I'm traveling still which helps (recent adventures include a 10 day Buddhist meditation course and a songwriter event in Colorado), but it's distracting for me here...and I miss Europe...the people, the way of life....the beauty. Not that LA isn't beautiful. It is. But it's not what my soul is calling for right now. I want quiet. I want nature. I want new experiences. I want to create more. So I've decided not to stay. I'm not sure where I'm going yet, but that's not a new concept for me. It'll reveal itself. I'll go on a couple pilgrimages and check it out.

Having had the experiences of the past 5 months has left me altered. I'm still me, but different. I'm not comfortable in my old clothes. I'm not comfortable in my old car. I'm not comfortable in my old city. It's weird, but I've learned to listen to these feelings and roll with them. Trust them. Let the old skin fall away. It's been fun shopping for new clothes. I go into these stores with absolutely no idea what I want. Literally. I wait for something to appeal to me and then I try it on. The sales person always asks "can I help you find something?"

"I don't know what I like anymore. Any suggestions?"

When I do find something, some of it works, and some is ridiculous. The boots I like. The new hat, yes. That scarfy thing at the Levi's store?....not so much. And that electric blue button down shirt was hilarious. It looked good in my mind...what can I say? At least I had the sense not to purchase it. Wish I could say that about that leather vest I bought in the 90's. It sat in my closet abandoned for years. I never took the tag off, but couldn't bring myself to donate it to the Indian Guides.

To say that I'm living in a new headspace is an understatement of apocolyptic proportions, but I can say this. As challenging as what I'm doing is for me, I've never felt so free, both emotionally and physically, calm, creative and content with my life.

Happy Tuesday

The Magic Hat

I lost my hat.
The magic hat.
It's been in almost every picture I've taken of myself on this European trip, as well as in all my videos.
I loved that hat.
I'm thinking of writing a eulogy for it. I either left it or dropped it somewhere around the train station in Marseilles while looking for the bus depot to take me to Aix-en-Provence. I had it. Walked 3 blocks to find the bus and when I there, it was gone. Vanished. And I was too tired to walk back up the hill. I had gone too far and would've had too many places to look. I had to let it go.

That hat could take any ensemble I came up with and make it look good, no matter how silly or questionable my hygeine i was. It was perfect for bad hair days...or when I just didn't want to deal with it. And being that I'm currently on a 10 day trip with only a tiny backpack (didn't want to bring the orange dufflebeast), it was the last shred of vanity I was clinging to. All bets are off now. I'm in hotels, so my skin is clean, but that's about all I can vouch for at this point.

I had to make some tough choices packing this bag. The razor didn't make it. Too heavy. And after 6 threatening emails from Ryanair about the weight limit for my carry on, I wasn't going to risk it. Couldn't I have made a different sacrifice? Perhaps. But 2 pair of pants wasn't going to cut it, and I had to bring all my work stuff.

I'm in Aix-en-Provence right now. Not exactly the fashion capitol of the world, but definitely a shoppers' delight. Unfortunately the only hats I've seen so far would either require me to also purchase a skateboard to have it look right, or I'd have to change my name to Pierre. "The Magic Hat" I loved so much was from Old Navy. Four dollars on the clearance rack, so you never know. I might get lucky. I have a small head though and hats aren't easy for me to find.

It's so hot and dry here, that my dried straw afro hair is right out there for us all to enjoy now. Me and anyone who happens to walk by and look in my general direction.

So the pros and cons of this moment?
Cons
I'm hatless and have bozo the clown hair.
I'm exhausted from not being able to sleep last night. The brain couldn't unplug. I got up at 5:30 for the obligatory urination and never made it back to the promiseland.
Pros
It's Saturday.
It's beautiful here.
It was time for a new look for me anyway.

Marseilles vs. San Pedro

I'm on the train to Cagnes sur mer right now to visit the Renoir house and begin my impressionist tour of southern France. I spent last night in Marseilles. My friend called it the "San Pedro of France", which in a sense is true, accept for the castles, museums, incredible food, and fresh fish markets every morning.

The people in Marseilles are also the nicest people I've met in France so far. Even the night clerk at my hotel after telling me my room wasn't in fact mine....
"Room 30 sil vous plez"
"That's not your room"
"Huh? I was in there earlier. My bag is on the floor and my name is in your book."

They make you check your keys before leaving most hotels in Europe, just so us tourists don't get drunk and throw our keys in the harbor or get mugged. It's understandable. They don't use disposable key cards like so many places in the US. These places were built 300 years ago some of them, and they hand you these skeleton keys that look like they could open a dungeon gate in a Hobbit movie.

So the clerk looks on his list...
"That is your room."
He cracks this great smile and starts laughing. He wasn't even mean denying me my key. Just matter of fact. So I laugh with him. I'm starving, so I decide to ask my new friend whether or not he has any food in the kitchen of the hotel. The town shut down early and I couldn't find anything on the way back.

He says "pain?" (bread)
I'll take anything..."oui."

He goes into the kitchen and cuts me off half this fresh french roll and puts it in the toaster. When it's finished, he comes out with the 2 pieces cut open on a plate, butter and jam. Doesn't charge me anything. I go out on the patio over the water (I put a couple of pics of the view from earlier that day) and ate my bread.

Outside of "The Ant Farm", we'll call it, that I stayed on my 2nd trip to Barcelona, this is the LEAST expensive place I've stayed in Europe. Right on the water. Incredible. ("The Ant Farm" by the way literally was infested with ants. In the hotel's defense, the night guy did offer me a can of Raid when he saw the were sold out and couldn't switch my room. Unfortunately the hotel also had paper thin walls, drunk people throwing parties, and a highly active sexual clientele. I'll check the guide book more carefully next time.)

Let's just say I'm happy to be at this hotel in Marseilles tonight. And really grateful to my new friend at the desk for helping me out.

Juanito

I went down to the palace tonight to have dinner. It's become a pretty regular routine for me. I work late and then get my meal "para llevar" (to go for you gringos out there) and sit down there soaking up one of my favorite sites in Europe.

It's Friday, so it was crowded and I had to wander around for a few minutes before I could find a spot to sit down. I got a good one. Front row just to the right of center. I'm enjoying my falafel salad with the fried cauliflower when this little girl sticks her head around the corner of the stone i'm leaning against. Her head pops out from the left side. Then the right. Then the left again. She has this beautiful white dress on and shiny shoes.

She asks me my name in Spanish and I'm excited to be able to not only understand her question, but offer a response. "Me llamo Rob". She tells me it's a pretty name. I'm flattered. Like the true local I've become, I toss out a couple of Spanish nuggets for her "y tú?" She says it's Juanito. I want to tell her it's a nice name too, but I can't remember the right expression, so I just smile.

She goes on to tell me she loves Madrid, asks me if I like her hair, and that the couple she is with isn't her parents. It's her aunt and uncle. She also says a couple things I don't understand and I either nod or ask her to clarify, but I'm pretty pleased with myself that we have carried on this long.

So I ask her "cuantos años?" and she says "seis". Juanito is 6 years old. She then says something else in spanish that I don't understand, so I say "yo soy de los estados unidos, y my español es muy malo". She then says, "I'm from Washington DC. I speak english too. Are we speaking English now?"

I guess we are.

Juanito is a bilingual 6 year old who lives in Washington DC. She's been here 20 days and goes home next week. Evidently she goes to spanish school so she can learn the language. I've been here 2 months, taken 6 years of spanish in middle school and started my rosetta stone course online. When the pressure is on, I can't remember how to tell her she has a pretty name.

She eventually tells me I'm handsome with my hat on, thanks me for talking to her and says goodbye. They're going to dinner now. So I finish my falafel and take the long way back to my flat.

I love my life. Another great night.

EXPRESS

I went and visited this painting the other day. It's called "Express" and is by a guy named Robert Rauschenberg if you've never seen it. It's at the Thyssen museum here in Madrid. It's what I was standing in front of when I got my "big idea" and also inspired me to dive more deeply into my visual art in addition to music.

It's one of those paintings that stands out. It's the last thing you see at this museum before they send you through the exit and into the shop. Three floors of priceless paintings by almost every important name in art for the past 700 years, and THIS is what they leave you with. That's saying a lot. I forgot how impressive it is to actually stand in front of it. I bought a little postcard of the image to take with me last time as inspiration. But I was blown away when I walked back into the room.

It's been really freeing to open up the restrictions I'd put on myself as a musician for so long. I was like a caveman.... "I....AM...MUSICIAN....I.....SING...SONG...FOR....YOU", while I scratched myself, jumping up and down, passionately grunting.

My life feels more natural now. I feel more honest with myself and you. I worked a lot this week. When I go to that place, it can be difficult. It's like the world ceases to spin on its axis. Sleeping is wrestless at best and even a stroll about the neighborhood doesn't really register. I'm exhausted. I think it's time for another mini road trip. Granada. I've been told it's a "must see" for me. I'm in.

I Just Found This

I'm organizing all my photos and just found this. i believe it was taken in Sun Valley, ID last year. Horrible quality taken with my crappy phone at night...but one of the greatest signs of all time!

3 Months....That's a Quarter Year!

Today marks exactly 3 months since I left my friends, family and the familiar sights of Los Angeles and set out on this journey. Since then, I've shot youtube movies of various adventures, taken thousands of pictures, met countless people, traveled around and been able to continue my work.

This experience has challenged me to open my mind and let go of a lot of ideas about myself and my life that I've held onto tightly for a long time. The whole trip has been amazing and beautiful, but it's only the past week or so that I've started to experience a peace of mind and clarity I've never known.

It's incredible to me how easy it is to set up a life here in Madrid. People are so warm and welcoming. It continues to blow my mind. Spain isn't particularly ambitious as a nation at least in comparison to the blind accomplishment machine of the US and LA in particular. They take siestas every day, and close down for the month of August for vacation. My LA DNA is programmed for "GO. WORK. BE BUSY. MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN."

I find the people here happy with a good meal, and fun conversation with friends. Sure. They all work and are trying to do interesting things just like everyone everywhere else. And I've been to great dinners in LA with people I love. In fact, I'm looking forward to more of those when I go there in September. But this city and the people in it have a warmth about them I just love.

Evidently my visa expires after 90 days, so I booked a return flight right before they deport me in about another month. My plans for the that time are loose, but include more road trips, more work on my "big idea" and more time with my friends here. Including the ones I haven't met yet.

Funny. When I think of going back to the US for awhile, I find myself wanting to go to Las Vegas....with all its' grandeur and ridiculousness that make it so fantastic to me. I don't know my plans for when I get back and I have no interest in worrying about it right now. It'll depend on my art and music life as well as how I feel. But I'm guessing a trip to Las Vegas will be on the agenda.

A Day Trip Outside Madrid - Hiking in Cercedilla

Hard To Keep Up

I'm on a morning stroll down La Rambla in Barcelona. I came back here to visit friends for a few nights. It's nice here. The street is packed even at this hour and will only get more crowded until about 2am. I just had a fresh banana orange juice and I'm walking down to catch a glimpse of the water before getting to some work I need to do.

The experiences and transformations I'm experiencing in Europe are coming fast and are too numerous for me to keep up with. But I'm going through a metamorphosis and it feels great.

Barcelona so far has gone exactly NOT how I thought it was going to. But lately it seems this is how things are for me. It's nothing like I think, and it's fantastic.

My journey in Europe is only partially completed and I know that. So even though my plane ticket to Los Angeles says next week on it, I'm canceling it. And I'm staying here until it feels right to leave.

I feel free. Like never before. Inside and out. And even my candy cane striped sunburn feels good under these clothes.

Rome - Part 2 (The Coliseum, Palantine Hill)

Rome, Italy - Part 1 (The Vatican)

Roaming the Streets of Toledo, Spain

Not my best camera work, but a fun day.

The Cabby Man Can

My friend Alex and I grabbed a cab last night. We were on our way to another friend, Ronnie's photography exhibit. He was one of the runners up in a contest and we were going to the event. She says "the cab will get us there in a couple minutes." We were running late and I agreed it was a good idea.

It took us a minute, but one finally pulled over for us. I can't understand a word he's saying because my Spanish experiment still hasn't grown wings like I'd hoped, but I'm trying. So I'm listening for any words I can pick out and a generel sense of what he's saying. Alex seamlessly weaves back and forth between Spanish for him, and English for me.

The driver seems like a nice guy, but after a few minutes, I see he's having trouble finding where we're going. In the endless pretzel of streets that exist in Madrid, it's easy to have that happen. It doesn't matter how long you live here. He's got this green book. It looks 30 years old. And he's looking up the street names. At one point, we know we're close, and Alex says he can let us out and we'll find it.

He looks back at us, turns off the meter, and says "no!" Then something else in spanish, and bangs on the seat next to him with his fist and smiles. The gist? I'm going to find this place for you guys if it kills me. He rolls down the window and asks about the street name. No luck. We drive around the block, working our way in and out of different bits of the neighborhood. No luck. He rolls down the window again, and this guy says it's a block over.

Another 5 or 10 minutes pass, and we finally realize we're on the street. Right out front of the gallery. The whole ride costs us 5 euros. We probably paid for half the time we were in the cab. All 3 of us were laughing most of the time.

He's a cab driver. He helps people get to where they need to go. He wasn't comfortable just letting us off and taking the fare. He wanted to get us there. He apologized for taking so much of our time. He reaches back and shakes my hand. A good firm handshake and looks me in the eye.

That was one of the greatest cab rides ever. I work like that driver in a lot of ways. I do things I don't "need" to do. But it makes a difference to me at the end of the day. I can relate to this guy a alot, even though I couldn't understand a word he said.

I Have To Be The Clever One

Here's the problem with working on something that's never really been done before...it's never really been done before. There are issues to resolve and things to figure out how to do with no road map. There's usually a reason it hasn't been done. Either no one has thought of it, or they did, but couldn't figure out the same issues you're mulling over right now. You've got to be smarter. You've got to be more clever.

Here's the best part about working on something that hasn't been done before...it hasn't been done before! Pretty cool. And kind of a privilege. Today I have to be the clever one.

In The Crosshairs of Clueless

I have to say, it's really weird to have nothing to do. There are some errands to run, but I tried earlier and that didn't go so well. Every store I went into looking for what I thought I needed, was closed, or didn't have it. I think the universe is telling me to do nothing. Sit still. This is a confusing existence for me.

I admit, it's nice to feel my life slowing down. I don't have a stack of phone calls to make or emails to write. I could certainly find things like that to do, but I'm not going to. I'm going to step into what's difficult for me because I know that's where my freedom ultimately will come from.

I don't know what direction my journey is going. I don't live anywhere at the moment and I'm feeling that. I feel uprooted.

What I do know is this:
Ever since I've started living like this, my emotions are deeper. Buildings look taller. Streets seem wider...and narrower. The sky is more blue. The breeze is more refreshing, and people are more interesting. This year feels better than the last. And as my understanding grows, so does my love and faith in myself.

So, today my mood is happily clueless. They should add that as an option for one of the Myspace "moods".

A Day Sightseeing in Barcelona and Cadaqués

On the Train to Dali's House

I'm sitting on the train from Barcelona north to Figueres. We're on the way to Salvadori Dali's house. They turned it into a museum, and evidently it's incredible. The quiet time feels good. The train ride is about 2 hours and we'll be taking a taxi from there. A lot of travel for a day trip, but today is the day. We're going for it.

The Spanish countryside is rolling by and in my headphones, the current selection is what has become my favorite European soundtrack. This cd was a gift from my friend Kevin, which has turned out to be one of those gifts that keeps on giving. Max Richter, The Blue Notebooks. It's instrumental and amazing. A couple of the tracks give me the chills every time.

It's so beautiful here. My life and viewpoints have changed so much since my first trip to Europe. And now it's like a chest that's opened and inertia has taken over. All of my dreams and desires seem further away. Not because I'm any further away. I'm not escaping. Just getting a better perspective.

The creative ideas continue. But from what I can tell so far, this trip seems to be about becoming new. Being in places that I feel comfortable and at home. Basically changing the kind of gas I'm putting in my tank. I feel present and powerful. By getting quiet and letting life come to me, I find that I'm learning new things. Some motivations no longer seem worth my time or energy.

So where does that leave me?

I guess on the train to Dali's house...feeling delicious and strangely good!

U2. yes!!!!

I'm not feeling particularly articulate this morning, but I had the opportunity to catch the U2 show last night in Barcelona. Wow. What a great time. 80,000 happy people singing to every song. Louder than the band. The Spanish know how to have a good time. I have a lot to learn from them.

THE "BRO NOD"

I didn't realize how much I relied on the "bro nod" to communicate. I've always been an equal opportunity kind of guy. So I'll float a nod to anyone...male or female.

Being that I don't know the language here, I've been sending out a lot. Walking down the streets tossing them out left and right. And no one has responded back. I was wondering if I had something hanging from my nose. Am I that big of an idiot here? I know it's a tourist bag, but it's not a fanny pack for God's sake. Am I not cool enough even for a courtesy nod back? You could certainly make a case for that, but I don't have this problem at home.

Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better, but I'm thinking it's a thing that we only do in the States. It's a custom they just don't have here. Eye contact. Yes. A smile? Maybe. The "yo" nod. Nope.

I'm exhausted and not feeling well today. Gave me some time to think and analyze this most troubling situation. Now that I've at least imagined an explanation to comfort myself, I can check it off my list and relax. Phew!

¡MADRID!

Well, I'm here. Madrid. Two months of planning, packing, traveling and creating has led me to this room. In this city. In this moment. I was wondering how it would feel to come back after the incredible experience I had last time on vacation. Would it feel the same? How would it be to live and work instead of hang out in vacation mode?

I was so tired yesterday from the jetlag and everything else that's been going on, I kind of collapsed. Hard to get up this morning...but hunger prevailed and I went out for a few.

I still don't speak the language (although I'm working on that), and I have no idea where I am. Relatively speaking, I've probably seen very little of this city. But it just feels good. I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's the people. I had a drink last night with a friend of mine that lives here. She's great. We were both exhausted from the day, but it was nice to connect to someone. There is this bar she took me to that's in a park. Beautiful. Then there's Jose, who works at my hotel. He showed me pictures from his trip to Florida, the Grand Canyon, and Las Vegas he took last year. Looks like he had an amazing time. He remembers me from the last time I was here.

Maybe it's the scenery. It's hard to take a bad picture in this city. Everything is pleasing to the eye somehow. The details in the buildings. The art. The streets.

I just don't feel like this anywhere else. I'm comfortable. The idea of "Rob" is more round in these surroundings somehow. That might not make sense, but I can't really think of any other way to explain it. My friends feel far away, but the internet is helping with that. I believe in the project I've come here to work on. It's a stretch for me, but I know I can do it. And I know that no matter where all this goes, and what happens in my life, when it's all over and I look back, I'll be glad I did this.

That Finish Line Looks a Lot Like a Starting Line

After a bit of confusion on the plane about our destination, the situation has stabilized. They just let us know that we will in fact be continuing on to New Haven. We just went to the gate they told us to, and got on. Never checked the sign. Didn't think about it. I'm usually anal about that kind of thing, but today it didn't occur to me.

After we got in the air, they mentioned Baltimore and Jack and I sort of looked at each other....hmmm.....that wasn't on the itineray.....?? This could be fun.

I haven't been to New York in years. We'll be going into the city on Thursday for a couple days of meetings. Weather permitting, we may be at the Mets game Friday. I'm excited. I love NY. Things are going really well. The new cd (my first solo album), will finally be available at robgrad.com starting Tuesday.

We had a pre-cd release party in Ft. Myers on Saturday night. It really couldn't have gone much better. A great turnout of really cool people. I played a few songs. The video for "No Apologies" looked great on the big screen. It's amazing how many people there have opened up to me over the past year or so and made me feel so at home.

All that being said.....I'm fried. Really fried. In fact, today I started to realize how low my tank is. I'm going to get a few days vacation coming up and I'm looking forward to it. Gotta recharge the batteries a little.

RECESS!!!

Ahhhh....this is the Florida I'd like to see more of. I got a couple hour window and the opportunity to take a drive. I wound up here. Bowman's beach on Sanibel Island. 2 parts Hawaii, 1 part Cape Cod, with a splash of the Carribean.

I'm the only jackass out here in pants. In my own defense, I didn't know I was coming here. Earth school...lesson number 1,000,000,343,937....get in car. Drive. Turn when inspired to do so. See where you wind up. Today...Sanibel Island.

It feels like recess without the burnt burritos and glazed donuts. Just fresh air, beautiful water and a series of deep breaths. I only have a few minutes before I need to be back. It's not enough time. It's never enough time.

I managed to take this picture. Couldn't see because of the sun on my screen. My finger is nice, isn't it?

THE DRIVE HOME FROM BIG SUR

I actually shot this video a couple weeks ago on my way home from vacation. Finally had the chance to edit it together.

ROSIE

Yesterday was quite the day. It ranged from attending a pre-school production of the "3 Little Pigs Opera" to our new friend Rosie at the laundromat (back to her in a minute), to planning a trip to New York, to setting a date for a pre-album release party here in Florida. The days are so full right now that when I sit to write these blogs, I get immediately overwhelmed with how much I want to talk about.

As our plans for releasing this album continue, I'm getting progressively more excited. Not only are our ideas themselves expanding, so is the circle of people involved. It's amazing how much the right people can bring to something. This is going to be a lot more than a cd release, and there's a lot to do, but it's all beginning to take shape.

Back to Rosie.....I still had clothes dirty from my trip to Big Sur. It was time. We all know when that time is. Sometimes we wait just a little longer, until we're wearing pants with no underwear because it's all dirty, flip flops instead of shoes even if it's 40º outside because we're out of socks, and we've got that "I Dream of Jeanie" shirt on from high school that doesn't really fit anymore with a couple of old coffee stains we couldn't get out because that's all that's left in the dresser.

That was me yesterday. And Jack. So we went. Picked a laudromat at random that was close by. We walk in, and there's a girl who works there. She seems nice. Asks if we need help. She's right there when the coins don't work and uses a key to start our wash. She's smiling. Having a good time. She's sad to hear that Guiding Light is going off the air. She's worked in this laundromat for years. She walks around like she owns the place (maybe she does. I didn't ask). She lights up the place. Nice to talk to, or she leaves you alone if that's what you want. It was hands down the most pleasant laundromat experience of my life. Not sure exactly why I'm talking about it. I think what struck me was how one person's energy and approach to life can transform a place like a laundromat and an experience as mundane as doing my laundry.

She was reluctant at first when I asked for this picture. But I told her that I was visiting town and wanted to remember her because she was so great.

I do my best to be like Rosie wherever I go. I loved being around someone who was able to do it in a place like that so naturally.

Thanks Rosie!

MICRO FORCE - EPISODE 1 - The Pursuit of the Perfect Shave

I don't watch much TV. I just don't have the time. Between work, the phone, email and the endless list of things to do, I tend to wind up tired at night before I get to it. When I do, it's usually some random cocktail of late night shows that can include any one or all of Conan O'Brien, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

Before I left LA, I did get into a stretch where I was watching for at least a few minutes before I went to sleep. Usually because I was so tired from packing and moving that my body was tired before my mind.

In between all the Girls Gone Wild and Extenze commercials, there was one for the Micrco Force razor. I must have seen that commercial 20 times in a 2 week period. I never buy things like that...."CALL NOW!"....sitting on my bed, credit card and phone in hand. But it stuck with me. Every time I saw it, I was reminded that I need a new razor. And something that small would be good for all the traveling I'm doing right now.

I resisted. I told myself that those commercials are usually selling crap. It's a scam. It's a waste of my money....even with the really cool looking bonus grooming kit.

Today I'm sitting here, NOT watching TV and it occurs to me that I still want that razor. So I hop on the internet, go to the website (of course I remember the name), and check it out. After a minute of looking to make sure it's the right one, I decide to go for it. I'm excited.

I'm then led through a succession of screens all suggesting various improvements to my purchase, including the "forever sharp" blades with the fancy carrying case, the "forever sharp" blades without the fancy case, the ear and nose clippers, priority shipping, etc. I survive the upsell.

I laugh. The whole process is very entertaining. And now I'm filled with anticipation. Will it be total crap? Entirely possible. It's like a little show. I've paid this amount for movies and cds that provided less entertainment than this process has. So I'm going to look at it as that. Entertainment. If it can shave my face without leaving a coat of hair or shredding my cheeks, I'll consider it a bonus.

UH....

Today was one of those magical days. I had a game changing meeting this morning about an idea I have. This whole week has been incredible though. It felt like every step of the way was just laid out and all I had to do was keep up...which was actually hard to do at some points. My life has gone from 40mph to 80mph in a few short days. And we're picking up speed.

My car is safely tucked away. My apartment has been given back to those who rented it to me. I'm sitting here staring at the couple of items that will accompany me for the next few months. I feel good. Life feels natural. And as much as I'll miss a lot of friends and family here, I know it's time to go.

Florida tomorrow.

GOOD MORNING

I'm staying at my friend's place for a few days in Venice. He's been living with his girlfriend and isn't using it much. One simple room. A bathroom. No kitchen. And I love it! I forgot how much I liked living in the heart of Venice this close to the water. Walking this stretch of beach in the morning.

I've got this great sense lately of being totally conscious of the people around me. Souls walking around, doing their own thing. And I'm just one of them. Connecting, disconnecting...it's a little hard to explain but really comforting somehow.

Another day today of ironing out logistics, tying up loose ends, and seeing friends. But right now all that seems to matter is this beautiful morning, those waves, this coffee, and some hunger pangs that need tending to.

OPERATION "CHANGE EVERYTHING" - Day 1

Wow. What a day. All that moving crazy stuff. Then a 5 1/2 hour drive. Now I'm in Big Sur and have no real home. Just me. All my belongings are in storage except for a couple bags, and 1 acoustic guitar that will accompany me in my coming travels.

6 days of moving. Movers. Taking things to friends. Donating to charity. What's the thing that got lost in the transition? BOTH of my camera batteries. Yes, I have 2. Because I'm as ridiculous as I am meticulous. It's true, they're almost identical, but I like having them both. One is a little easier to carry, and one is better to grow into.

So now I'm in Big Sur and have limited camera power juice. I wonder what else got lost...I can't seem to find my headphones either.

A calmness kind of came over me sometime after Santa Barbara on the way up. I don't know. Feels good though. My body hurts in places I didn't know I had places. And I'm free. Had this crazy dream about a silvery beautiful alien. All the patio furniture was spinning. That's a bit how it feels right now. Taking my life out of the inertia that was propelling me forward and placing myself on a new track. Although I suppose that's not entirely true. This has been coming for awhile. Nice to finally have the time to be now and not some unwieldy, untouchable future I can't grasp.

My album is finished, and we'll have them in hand in a few weeks. I saw the artwork proof today and it looks great. I'm excited. A lot of adventures coming up. Florida for a bit first to set things up, and then back to europe.

More and more synchronicities around all of this every day. I have to say, my life feels pretty remarkable right now.

EMBRACE YOUR OUTER GENIUS

If you've ever done anything creative, or want to, do yourself a favor and watch this. http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=1472

AMAZING TIMES...

Woke up this morning and realized I'm only here for 2 more weeks and then my life takes on a new chapter. I'll be living out of a bag for awhile. The artwork for the "No Apologies" cd is coming out great. I made everything by hand and some of the pieces look like they could hang in galleries to me. But I'm biased. I'm such a perfectionist, that by the time I finish anything, I tend to like my work. Until I go onto the next thing.

Then the new travels begin. I've decided to leap both feet into the unknown and I'm excited about it. I've changed everything else in my life, why not my living situation too? First Florida, then back to Europe. 

Something shifted for me this week. Not sure what. It feels good and happened overnight. I guess sometimes you do the work, thinking you're going nowhere, and then it clicks and we're forever changed. Amazing times....

A STEP AWAY FROM THE SLEEPWALK

Airports. I'm so fascinated by them, that I've actually become fascinated with my fascination. Why are they so interesting to me? People coming and going. Sure. I love to travel. Yes. Probably more than most people. So what? 

New sights. 

New scenery. 

New thoughts. 

New people.

But I don't know that it's just that. I'm reading this Eckhart Tolle book where he's talking about how much more conscious we tend to be when we're traveling or on vacation. The newness of everything keeps us present in a way that we turn off when things are familiar. Makes total sense to me. 

The book is a bit like hacking through the Amazon jungle with a machete. Not because it's a difficult read, but it's this succession of bite sized bits of good information all lined up for what seems like miles. 

But maybe that's it. Airports. Full of people outside their daily routines. Outside the safety and comfort zones, and all the joy, awkwardness and dis-ease that comes with that. It's beautiful to me. People at their best. And worst. Either way, somehow distanced from the sleepwalk. 

And at the airport, I get to be right there with them. 

On a completely different note, we finally got the final master of my cd. It came out great. The hard copy and downloadable versions should both be available in May. Exciting times....

SILENCE

So my doctor put me on 5 days' silence. Evidently I have an infection in my throat. He gave me some antibiotics, a pad and pen, and said "see you Tuesday". Nice. Today is day 2 of my oath of abstinence from the spoken word. 

Yesterday I did manage to mutter a few though...."1 lb of espresso forte please. Ground for a cone".....then a "yes" when asked if I wanted a complimentary cup of the brew for the day, which was actually more of a gesture than an actual word. And a quick "thank you" as I walked out. I had no coffee left in the morning and didn't want to use the pad for fresh beans. Just seemed like too much of a pain in the ass for such a quick exchange.

What's interesting to me is how quiet it seems here. Somehow the idea that I can't speak makes even my alone time seem more silent. Outside of the 10 minute coffee run, I didn't leave my place yesterday. Maybe I spend more time on the phone than I thought. It's amazing what bubbles up sitting by myself without it. Just me, my thoughts and this space. 

There's the productivity. The creativity. Without distractions, I was able to focus and work on 2 album cover ideas. I'm going to make a few and pick the one I like the best. Too much pressure for perfection if I only do one. I also came up with a couple ideas for another project I'm working on. More about that later. 

There's the "me" time. I watched a movie. Finished one of the 6 books on my nightstand I'm in the middle of, and started a new one that just came in the mail....

And then there's the stuff. All that I distract myself from addressing on a daily basis. The things I don't want to see, that I'm not particularly proud of. Those nuggets in my psyche that cause me fear and stress but live under the radar. I was greeted by a couple of those last night. Somehow the process never ends. But I know from experience now that I've got to look at that crap and learn what needs to be learned. There is always a deeper freedom on the other side. 

I have a sense that today will most likely bring more of the same. Some people say there are no accidents. I used to implicitly believe that. And in the end, I suppose I still do. But I see it from a different angle now. Some choices we make in our own best interest, and some we don't. But they are both our choices. No one else's. I believe the conscious universe helps us learn from either. 

MILESTONES AND TURNER CLASSICS

This week is a milestone for me. I finished the actual recording part of my album. 2 years of work just about finished. A couple of minor mix tweaks, mastering and some visual elements to suss out and that's it. Guess I'm a little nostalgic today looking back.

I had a close friend pass way in his sleep a few weeks ago. As much as I try to live my life without regrets, and I like to think of myself as immune to certain cliches, death does have a way of making us look at life. The first thing I wanted to do when I got over the shock was get on a plane and go back to Europe. That surprised me. I would've expected my reaction to call someone I love or something like that. But there's too much I haven't seen. I've been really focused since then.

In singing my final vocal last weekend, I was amazed at how easy it went. The incredible people I have to work with now. How easily I was able to get a performance compared to the studio nightmares I was having when I began this. Singing the Superfine stuff was easier in a way. These songs are much more expressive. I've worked hard to learn about creating the energy that comes so easily to me live in a studio environment.

These songs have taught me a lot. This process has taught me a lot. My whole life is different now from when I started. I'm different. Everything I had to learn in order to make this thing.

I found myself up at 2am a few nights ago watching Turner Movie Classics. One of the few channels that filters into my building for free. They replayed an interview with Katharine Hepburn on the Dick Cavitt show from the 70's. I suppose I'm late on this train, but she was amazing. Somehow in America, and maybe it's like this all over, but we get this idea that these iconic people magically just wind up that way. But the more I pay attention and the more I listen to the things they actually say, the more I realize why. They can say the smallest thing, but if I'm listening, it's a clue. We look up to them for a reason. And maybe that's why we try to pull them down too.

I'm grateful to be learning from the people that have gone before me and I'm celebrating today. I've accomplished something I couldn't have conceived of 3 years ago.