I have a problem. Every time I go to Home Depot I wind up buying some weird crap for an art project. It's like I think it's Michael's Toys and Hobby shop in there. Most of the ideas don't work. Half the time I don't even end up finishing or doing it at all. So I wind up with cabinets full of copper piping I never made that frame out of, or spray paint I was going to put that cool design on my nightstand with. Tonight I went in for 2 light bulbs and a fuse. Came out with a bag full of plastic signs. "For Rent", "Sorry We're Closed", "Exit", etc. The idea? A collage. I know. Sounds lame...and I'm sure it will be. I don't even know what it means, but I think it's going in my bathroom. I was in a crap mood. What can I say? I guess if tonight freedom looks like 20 signs and some fishing wire, I'm in.

Album note....I was in Florida last week filming part of the live DVD that will accompany the "No Apologies" cd and Jack's new tv show. Here's a pic from the set. I think it's gonna be great. HD is amazing!

I'm on a plane right now headed back to Fort Myers. I'm going to be interviewed on the pilot of Jack's new TV show this weekend. I'm excited. It should be fun. I'll tell you more about it as I get a better idea of what it's going to be like. I think the interview and performance will be on the companion DVD to the upcoming "No Apologies" cd.

I knew I had to get up early this morning, so last night I went for a mellow dinner at a local deli in Venice. I miss Venice. I wandered around for a few minutes on the way back to my car. It's changed a lot since I moved there years ago, but it's still an interesting place. I live a mile or so south of Venice now. Amazing how different neighborhoods can be so close to each other. It's quiet and beautiful where I live, but the slice of humanity that haunts it's corners aren't near as interesting to me. I remember walking these streets depressed years ago when I was going through a hard time. "She" left and the rest of my world had come unraveled simultaneously. It was touch and go for awhile, but It eventually turned out to be a huge positive turning point in my life. Sometimes it's easier to let go when you have nothing to lose.

Today, my dreams are alive and in tact. Resurrected from the dead. Yet forever altered somehow. I'm not propelled by the same wants and needs and I have a sense that I'm doing what I was born to do. It feels good......grounded, real, and really good.

This flight is great. All my senses are on high alert. Surrounded by seniors and families all headed to Florida so we can sweat together in the heat and humidity. Kind of makes me feel closer to everyone somehow. The 2 year old in the next row is dressed like he's retired and waiting for his social security check so he can buy a new putter for his golf bag. I can't bring myself to read or listen to music. It's far too fascinating to simply look around and listen.

The guy in front of me just gave one of his kids a chocolate milk chug. Like, yo...milk chug....that's funny to me. Even chocolate milk is now made to be exciting and "edgy". Do we really want to feel cool that bad? So many brands and companies these days. New packaging, more marketing.....same chocolate milk. But maybe this is all to be embraced. These families with 12 screaming babies are all going to need jobs. And in a way, it works. I like the milk chug bottle. I want some. Maybe it'll make my day better. It's easy to be nostalgic about how things were...."simpler back then". But it's always been that way. It was always more simple before. We have billions of more people on this planet now. And was my childhood really that good? I was miserable and terrified most of the time. So for today, I'm gonna wrap my skinny arms around the chaos and enjoy some fancy milk.

Back in LA and working away....a video update on what we've been up to.

I killed a snake last week. Didn't want to, but due to some of the markings it was possibly poisonous and there were kids and a dog around, etc. Felt like I had to do my duty as MAN. The Protector. Not really a role I've found myself in often in this life. Left me with a strange sensation afterward. It's interesting how much I limit my perception of myself only to be surprised later when circumstances demand a new response or behavior.

We promptly went to the Neiman Marcus outlet afterward as was the original plan for the day so I could buy some new jeans. I felt like Chazz the Barbarian....or Conan the Metrosexual.

I'm really enjoying my time back in Los Angeles. LA gets a bad rap sometimes. It can be pretty great here.

We shot more footage for the No Apologies video in Sarasota the other day. It was great. Jack wore a sombrero and washed dishes in one part. Tomorrow we're shooting the final scene. I don't want to give it away, but it's gonna be classic. I feel like we've been shooting it for so long, it's gonna be weird to have it finished. Pretty ambitious concept, but hopefully it'll be worth it.

I also spent one day at ft. myers beach just hanging out people watching. What a trip. I love watching people on vacation. Sort of at their best, having a good time. We should all take more vacations....and drink lots of caramel malts! There was one point I was looking out at the water and it was like a traffic jam. This is a strange place.

So I've decided to start this little blog. What to write? What does one write as a first entry? So much pressure. It's like going to a New Years Eve party. Somehow whenever I go to one of those I feel this incessant need to do something memorable. And usually it winds up being exactly NOT that. What the hell did I do last New Years? I can't even remember. And I'm not a drinker which means I was stone cold sober. Must have been great, right?

I've been in bed most of the past week or so. Being sick away from home isn't exactly my favorite thing, but it's been alright. It gave me some alone time. I did roll out of bed to film in a factory last Friday for part of the "No Apologies" video. I coughed up some nice phlegm in between takes. Two more days of shooting and we should be in editing mode. It's coming out great. I'm excited to get it done. And I finished the lyrics for a song called "Better Off In The End" which I think will be the last song on the cd. The opening verse goes:

When I look back, the day I die
I don't want to swim in regrets
Abandonded dreams and blaming scenes
Stuck wishing I could forget

I had this picture in my mind of how sad that would be to be sitting on a porch when that time comes, like it will for all of us, looking back on my life, wanting to forget it. And the way to avoid that situation is by changing the choices I'm making now.

Florida is an interesting place. I did find this beautiful spot near where I'm staying nestled amongst the complex web of strip malls that makes up Ft. Myers. Looks like I'll be here another 2 weeks or so on this round. I tend to be a bit of a wanderer and staying in one place too long makes me antsy. It'll feel good to have some new scenery.