UH....

Today was one of those magical days. I had a game changing meeting this morning about an idea I have. This whole week has been incredible though. It felt like every step of the way was just laid out and all I had to do was keep up...which was actually hard to do at some points. My life has gone from 40mph to 80mph in a few short days. And we're picking up speed.

My car is safely tucked away. My apartment has been given back to those who rented it to me. I'm sitting here staring at the couple of items that will accompany me for the next few months. I feel good. Life feels natural. And as much as I'll miss a lot of friends and family here, I know it's time to go.

Florida tomorrow.

GOOD MORNING

I'm staying at my friend's place for a few days in Venice. He's been living with his girlfriend and isn't using it much. One simple room. A bathroom. No kitchen. And I love it! I forgot how much I liked living in the heart of Venice this close to the water. Walking this stretch of beach in the morning.

I've got this great sense lately of being totally conscious of the people around me. Souls walking around, doing their own thing. And I'm just one of them. Connecting, disconnecting...it's a little hard to explain but really comforting somehow.

Another day today of ironing out logistics, tying up loose ends, and seeing friends. But right now all that seems to matter is this beautiful morning, those waves, this coffee, and some hunger pangs that need tending to.

OPERATION "CHANGE EVERYTHING" - Day 1

Wow. What a day. All that moving crazy stuff. Then a 5 1/2 hour drive. Now I'm in Big Sur and have no real home. Just me. All my belongings are in storage except for a couple bags, and 1 acoustic guitar that will accompany me in my coming travels.

6 days of moving. Movers. Taking things to friends. Donating to charity. What's the thing that got lost in the transition? BOTH of my camera batteries. Yes, I have 2. Because I'm as ridiculous as I am meticulous. It's true, they're almost identical, but I like having them both. One is a little easier to carry, and one is better to grow into.

So now I'm in Big Sur and have limited camera power juice. I wonder what else got lost...I can't seem to find my headphones either.

A calmness kind of came over me sometime after Santa Barbara on the way up. I don't know. Feels good though. My body hurts in places I didn't know I had places. And I'm free. Had this crazy dream about a silvery beautiful alien. All the patio furniture was spinning. That's a bit how it feels right now. Taking my life out of the inertia that was propelling me forward and placing myself on a new track. Although I suppose that's not entirely true. This has been coming for awhile. Nice to finally have the time to be now and not some unwieldy, untouchable future I can't grasp.

My album is finished, and we'll have them in hand in a few weeks. I saw the artwork proof today and it looks great. I'm excited. A lot of adventures coming up. Florida for a bit first to set things up, and then back to europe.

More and more synchronicities around all of this every day. I have to say, my life feels pretty remarkable right now.

EMBRACE YOUR OUTER GENIUS

If you've ever done anything creative, or want to, do yourself a favor and watch this. http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=1472

AMAZING TIMES...

Woke up this morning and realized I'm only here for 2 more weeks and then my life takes on a new chapter. I'll be living out of a bag for awhile. The artwork for the "No Apologies" cd is coming out great. I made everything by hand and some of the pieces look like they could hang in galleries to me. But I'm biased. I'm such a perfectionist, that by the time I finish anything, I tend to like my work. Until I go onto the next thing.

Then the new travels begin. I've decided to leap both feet into the unknown and I'm excited about it. I've changed everything else in my life, why not my living situation too? First Florida, then back to Europe. 

Something shifted for me this week. Not sure what. It feels good and happened overnight. I guess sometimes you do the work, thinking you're going nowhere, and then it clicks and we're forever changed. Amazing times....

A STEP AWAY FROM THE SLEEPWALK

Airports. I'm so fascinated by them, that I've actually become fascinated with my fascination. Why are they so interesting to me? People coming and going. Sure. I love to travel. Yes. Probably more than most people. So what? 

New sights. 

New scenery. 

New thoughts. 

New people.

But I don't know that it's just that. I'm reading this Eckhart Tolle book where he's talking about how much more conscious we tend to be when we're traveling or on vacation. The newness of everything keeps us present in a way that we turn off when things are familiar. Makes total sense to me. 

The book is a bit like hacking through the Amazon jungle with a machete. Not because it's a difficult read, but it's this succession of bite sized bits of good information all lined up for what seems like miles. 

But maybe that's it. Airports. Full of people outside their daily routines. Outside the safety and comfort zones, and all the joy, awkwardness and dis-ease that comes with that. It's beautiful to me. People at their best. And worst. Either way, somehow distanced from the sleepwalk. 

And at the airport, I get to be right there with them. 

On a completely different note, we finally got the final master of my cd. It came out great. The hard copy and downloadable versions should both be available in May. Exciting times....

SILENCE

So my doctor put me on 5 days' silence. Evidently I have an infection in my throat. He gave me some antibiotics, a pad and pen, and said "see you Tuesday". Nice. Today is day 2 of my oath of abstinence from the spoken word. 

Yesterday I did manage to mutter a few though...."1 lb of espresso forte please. Ground for a cone".....then a "yes" when asked if I wanted a complimentary cup of the brew for the day, which was actually more of a gesture than an actual word. And a quick "thank you" as I walked out. I had no coffee left in the morning and didn't want to use the pad for fresh beans. Just seemed like too much of a pain in the ass for such a quick exchange.

What's interesting to me is how quiet it seems here. Somehow the idea that I can't speak makes even my alone time seem more silent. Outside of the 10 minute coffee run, I didn't leave my place yesterday. Maybe I spend more time on the phone than I thought. It's amazing what bubbles up sitting by myself without it. Just me, my thoughts and this space. 

There's the productivity. The creativity. Without distractions, I was able to focus and work on 2 album cover ideas. I'm going to make a few and pick the one I like the best. Too much pressure for perfection if I only do one. I also came up with a couple ideas for another project I'm working on. More about that later. 

There's the "me" time. I watched a movie. Finished one of the 6 books on my nightstand I'm in the middle of, and started a new one that just came in the mail....

And then there's the stuff. All that I distract myself from addressing on a daily basis. The things I don't want to see, that I'm not particularly proud of. Those nuggets in my psyche that cause me fear and stress but live under the radar. I was greeted by a couple of those last night. Somehow the process never ends. But I know from experience now that I've got to look at that crap and learn what needs to be learned. There is always a deeper freedom on the other side. 

I have a sense that today will most likely bring more of the same. Some people say there are no accidents. I used to implicitly believe that. And in the end, I suppose I still do. But I see it from a different angle now. Some choices we make in our own best interest, and some we don't. But they are both our choices. No one else's. I believe the conscious universe helps us learn from either.